


The World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show

by bigbilliamdenbro



Category: Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series - Jeff Kinney
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Swearing But Not a Lot, one mentionof sex, or 'getting laid' as rodrick would put it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-20
Updated: 2021-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-29 02:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30149097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigbilliamdenbro/pseuds/bigbilliamdenbro
Summary: Susan invites you to watch one of the Heffley's weird annual traditions, and you're expecting anything but this.
Relationships: Rodrick Heffley/Reader, rodrick heffley/y/n, rodrick heffley/you
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show

**Author's Note:**

> back at it with the rodrick oneshots idk if i have a future anymore lmao

Dating Rodrick Heffley was… an experience. Not in a bad way, but it definitely could be… weird at times. Like right now, when you were sitting in his living room while his parents told an extremely over-complicated story through… puppets. 

You weren’t exactly sure why you were there. Okay, well, maybe you were. Susan had been really persistent about you coming to the ‘World-Famous Annual Heffley Puppet Show’, as she made sure to announce extravagantly, and, despite Rodrick making faces behind her that quietly told you to not, in any occasion, say yes, you couldn’t get yourself to say no. 

“Why would you say yes? You could have just said your grandma died or something!”

“Dude! Don’t say that about my grandma!”

“Okay sorry. But you could’ve said absolutely anything!”

“I tried! She kept finding solutions! She even said she’d move the date up.”

“She said that?”

“Yeah?”

“Shit. She’s never moved the date before. She really wants you to go.”

“Why?”

“No idea. I think she just really likes you.”

“Why do you sound so shocked about it?”

“She’s never really liked any of the girls I’d go out with.”

“Okay James Dean. You’ve gone out with like one girl before me.”

“I got laid! Occasionally.”

“Dude your mom’s right upstairs don’t say that!”

“It’s true!”

“Yeah right.”

“Fine. Well now that you said yes to her I guess we’re gonna have to go.”

“It can’t be that bad!”

It could. It definitely, 100%, without a doubt, could. The ‘performance’ had been going on for about half an hour now, and it didn’t look like it was ending any time soon. You were sitting in chairs, which were lined up in front of the couch, beside Rodrick and Greg, with Rowley by Greg’s left and Manny by Rodrick’s right. Okay, maybe you should have listened to Rodrick.

You really, really tried, but you could not, as much as you desperately wanted to, figure out the plot of the story Mr. and Mrs. Heffley were trying to tell. It had something to do with dragons and fried chicken and at some point you swore there was a clown. How any of that tied up together was beyond you, and, as you could see, Rodrick and Greg too. 

The only ones who seemed to be having any fun at all were Manny, who was standing up and clapping like crazy, probably at the very questionable voices his parents were making for the ridiculous amount of different characters that seemed to progressively look worse, and Rowley, who also didn’t seem to understand it, but nonetheless looked entertained, occasionally asking Greg what he thought of it, to which Greg just smiled and mumbled something under his breath, only not to be a bummer to his friend.

You leaned over to Rodrick, who was wide-eyed, looking borderline terrified at the scene in front of him. “You said it was bad, not that it was gonna give me nightmares!” You whispered.

“I tried to warn you!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Greg whispered too, getting himself into the conversation.

“Shut up dickhead,” Rodrick exclaimed, to which Greg replied by sticking his tongue out at him.

“Do you guys really have to go through this every year?”

They both nodded. “It’s like it gets more terrifying every year,” Greg commented, and you took a quick glance at the couch, where Mr. and Mrs. Heflley were crouched behind. Apparently a pig who was wearing a bow tie was hunting down a rabbit now. 

“Do you guys think they’d notice if we left?” Greg asked and you wondered. Then you had an idea. 

“Okay look. You gotta be fast alright?”

“What?” Rodrick questioned you, finally managing to look away from the puppets. 

“When I say I gotta go you say you’re coming with me.”

He nodded, not really understanding where you were going with that.

“Wait can I come?”

“No,” Rodrick said.

“Come on give him a break no one deserves to go through this.”

Rodrick rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh. “Fine. But only ‘cause she asked.”

Greg smiled, looking at you. “Thank you!”

“Alright we gotta get out fast. Just grab Rowley.”

Greg nodded, and Rodrick sat further on the edge of the chair.

“Hey Mrs. Heffley?” You spoke up.

The voices stopped. You were already grateful just for that moment of silence.

Susan’s head appeared from behind the sofa. “Yes dear? Something wrong?”

“Yeah um I really have to go home.”

“Oh but we’re only halfway through-”

“I’ll take her home!” Rodrick exclaimed, yanking you by your wrist and running to the front door.

“We’ll go with!” Greg yelled, doing the same with Rowley, leaving only Manny as an audience.

“But-”

“Bye Mrs. Heffley!” You yelled, already on the front yard.

“Uh- bye sweetie!” You could barely hear it.

You got to Rodrick’s van, which was parked on the street, all panting and out of breath from running so fast. 

“Okay, get in demon spawn.” Rodrick unlocked the back door, opening it and waiting for the boys to enter.

“Hey!” You exclaimed, messing with him.

“Not you. You’re a… sexy little demon...ess,” he smirked, knowing he’d get a laugh out of you.

You could hear Greg and Rowley say ‘ew’ from the back as you got in the car. “Okay I think I prefer demon spawn.”

Rodrick got in himself, turning the engine on. “Okay any ideas?”

“Can we go to Chipotle?” Rowley asked.

“No we should go to Taco Bell!” Greg yelled, and they immediately started arguing about it, talking over each other so much you couldn’t understand a single word they were saying.

“Hey! Dickheads! Shut up!” Rodrick yelled, and, surprisingly, they did. “Y/n chooses.”

“What? Why?” Greg asked, offended.

“She has girlfriend privileges!”

You laughed at Greg’s angry expression. “I think we should go to Subway.”

“We’re not going to Subway.”

“You said I had girlfriend privileges!”

“Not if you choose Subway!”

“Fine. Domino’s?”

“Finally an actually good option!”

You got yourselves a large pizza, Greg and Rowley quick to leave the table and go chase after each other around the place. 

“You have grease on your chin,” you informed Rodrick when you looked at him. He wiped it off, his mouth full of food. He tried to say something, but quit as soon as he started, the sound muffled.

“Dude swallow the pizza first, that’s gross!”

He did it. “I said thank you.”

“For what?” You took another bite out of your slice.

“For saying yes to my mom. She was like super excited about it.”

You frowned, confused. “Wait I thought you wanted me to say no.”

“Well yeah. But she liked it or whatever. She likes you.”

“Is that good?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess. She won’t be so up our asses if she likes you.”

“Okay. Well you’re very welcome. Cause that was… something.”

He laughed. “You thought that was bad? You should see the Christmas one.”

“They do a Christmas puppet show too?”

“Oh no it’s much worse. They actually act in it.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah. And you’re officially invited by me.”

“Oh no don’t bring me into this again-”

“Too late! I-” he took a sip of his soda- “will be telling my mom you had a wonderful time today, and was so bummed you had to go home early!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“Didn’t you hear? You told me you’d be thrilled to attend the Yearly Christmas Play, brought to you by the Heffleys!”

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

You smiled. You supposed you signed up for weirdness the moment you said yes to dating Rodrick Heflley.

“I do actually!”

**Author's Note:**

> the miguel diaz thingy i was working on was stressing me out cause i was hating it so i took a break w this lol. its not a lot but whatever. you know the drill, im bigbilliamdenbro on tumblr too, requests are open for rodrick and a bunch of other characters so yeah


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